Have to or Want to???

HAVE TO OR WANT TO?

Have to:
to be required, compelled, or under obligation

Want to:
to feel a need or a desire for; wish for
Want to:
to wish, need, crave, demand, or desire

What is the difference between wanting to do something and having to do something?
If you have to do something it is a must. That does not mean you will do it but the must part makes it imperative and important. By the definition have to is something that is outside of you. An outside force is telling you that you must do this certain thing.

If you want to do something it is related to an inside feeling. Wanting to do something seems to be a part of you. Having to do something seems to be inflicted on you by something outside of you. Despite these differences there are probably things you want to do but you may not do these things.
So what is really going on here? Why do you resist doing what you have to do and what you want to do? Are you more likely to do what you have to do or what you want to do?

How were you raised? What rules did your parents teach you? Did they tell you that there are things you must do even if you do not want to do them? Are you one of those people that does what you have to and your life is lacking joy?

Or were you raised with your parents instructing you that you can't always do what you want? Were they trying to set you on the right path by telling you to be responsible? Did you rebel and do what you wanted to do? Is your life exciting but messy because you do what you want?

Who do you admire? Do you admire the ones that do what they want or the ones that “do the right thing?”

What about balance? Does it have to be one way or the other? This is a conundrum. There is no right answer. Consider the expression, “If you do what you enjoy you will succeed.” Trite but sometimes true. If you are not responsible you will spend your time catching up to correct or deal with what you did not do. What happens if you spend you life doing what you have to waiting for the chance later on to do what you want. You put in the time hoping, waiting for it to pay off. It can pay off but sometimes it just doesn't.

I have been considering this. Perhaps there is a way to do what you want and what you have to and enjoy them both is this. What if you were in the present moment? That means if you are watching a sunset you do just that. You watch a sunset. You enjoy the sunset. You are in the present moment.

You are not thinking about what you have to do or want to do. You can do that next but for now you are enjoying yourself just watching a sunset. Would the pleasure from a sunset make the “have to tasks” a little easier and more do able? You are in a good mood from your sunset so now you can tackle the things you “have to do.” Would the pleasure from the sunset allow you to re think those things that you wanted to do? Try it. See if you can do something and just enjoy it. Just be there in the moment. See if that gives you momentum. See if that makes your life lighter. See if that gives you perspective. See if that gives you balance.

Marcia, Your Confidence Coach