Are You a Self Disciplinarian?

How do you Treat Yourself?

I am sure there are people in your life that are special. Maybe you even love some of these special people. Lets' start with your family. There are family members that are special and whom you love. How about your pets? Possibly even some friends that you feel this way about. How do you treat people you love and feel are special? Probably with care, affection, fondness, kindness, and thoughtfulness. And I bet you cut them slack when they don't always live up to your expectations of them.

How do you treat yourself? Is it the same way you treat those special people in your life? No, why not? Aren't you special? Do you ever actually appreciate yourself?

Don't you deserve to be cut some slack when you do not live up to your own expectations. Do you expect more from yourself than others? It is fine to expect more from yourself than from others. But if you do not always live up to your expectations do you punish yourself? What is the point of having higher expectations if it leads to more punishment when you disappoint yourself? How does this type of thinking enhance your life?

What is going on here is action-reaction. What is missing is awareness and thought. Here is your scenario. You expect something of yourself. You fall short. You are disappointed and punish yourself. You speak to yourself in a harsh tone. You rag on yourself.

What happened to first thinking about this? Did you give it your best effort. No, okay here is a place to start. Revamp and re consider what other effort you could have used. Can you try that now? Disciplining yourself is a waste of them and can actually stop you from putting in your best effort ever.

Here is an example of this. I have a friend Gina. She has a dog that is practically her whole life. She takes her dog with her everywhere. Yet there are times she should not take her dog with her because her attention can not be focused on her dog. She does not keep a collar on her dog. She is under the belief that her dog does not like wearing a collar. One day she lost her dog while she was on a trip. This was a time she should have left her dog home. This was a time her dog should have worn a collar.

She called me up hysteric that her dogs was lost. Gina was distraught. This dog was the love of her life.

By some miracle her dog was found and returned to her. Did Gina learn a lesson and keep a collar on her dog? No. Why? Gina was so busy reproaching and hating herself for losing her dog that she did not think straight.

If she treated herself in a loving way she could have had the following conversation with herself.

• “I should leave my dog home when I can not watch her with proper attention”
• “I should keep a collar on my dog in case she gets lost”
• “I need to take care of my dog”
• “I need to put the safety of my dog first”

This leads to a plan and a solution to avoid what happened in the future. This type of thinking puts what happened in a perspective. Gina made a mistake. She made an error in judgment. She will learn from this so she can avoid it in the future.

Instead this was the conversation Gina had with herself.

• “Why wasn't I more careful?”
• “Why did my dog run away?”
• “Why was I distracted?”
• “Why was that person asking me such stupid questions and distracting me?”
• “Why didn't I watch my dog better?”
• “Why am I such a bad person?”
• “Why am I so incompetent?”
• “Why didn't I pay closer attention?”
• “Why do I have bad luck?”
• “Why did this happen to me?”
• “How could I have been so stupid, careless, bungling?”

This thinking leads to no solution, no plan. This thinking is thoughtless. This thinking assumes that you are not capable of avoiding this in the future. This thinking is not concentrated. You are blaming yourself, your dog, other people and circumstances.

You are blaming. You are not solving. You are not going any where except in a circle of blame.

So next time before you get out the whip and use it on yourself, DON'T. STOP. Think, review and remember how you treat those that are special and loved.

Fast track yourself to end self punishment. Fast track to treat yourself with care, fondness and love. Fast track yourself to get away from blaming. Fast track yourself to solutions and plans that will benefit yourself and those you love.

This product will show you how.

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Marcia, Your Confidence Coach