Do you "Pretend" to do too Much?

I have a friend, Tessa. Actually she is leaving the friend category and moving to the acquaintance category.

Let me tell you why. I have known Tessa for two years. Tessa and I met a club. Tessa volunteered for almost every position that was open at this club. I actually volunteered for one of the positions but Tessa took over. She made a statement that she had to leave early so she is volunteering for everything and then left the meeting instantly. I had no time to say anything.

I got over it. After Tessa volunteered for everything she rarely attended the club meetings. Once in a while she would pop in and say she is sorry she is busy and will get going shortly. Then we did not see her again at the meetings until she would pop in again and say the same thing.

Eventually there was a discussion of where she was and what was she doing. Did she leave the club? No one was happy with Tessa. She took on a responsibility and did not follow through.

These questions were directed at me because I was her friend. I did not want to get down on her although I had to agree with the members. She volunteered for everything and was not in attendance nor did she do what she promised. All I could say was that I would call her.

Tessa suffers from "pretending to do too much." This is true in her personal life also. If I call her to just talk she is too busy. If and when we can talk all Tessa talks about is what she has to do. Yet she rarely gets anything done. She is still attempting to do things she wanted to do two years ago. Not long range, big things. Just little every day things like cleaning a room in her house.

Once Tessa told me she has a slight (?) problem with organization and getting things done. I told her I could help her with that. She never took up the offer. Actually she was a little defensive with my offer.

When you suffer from "pretending to do too much" this is a typical reaction.

If I take apart Tessa's behavior I see a person that is disorganized, in chaos and unable to get out of that state. Thinking you are busy can allow you to run away from what is really going on in your life. I mean how can you look at much? You are too busy and you have so much to do?

This behavior is also a way to feel sorry for yourself. You set yourself up to fail and you do fail. Tessa knows she is not accomplishing anything. Every time she starts to do what she needs to a "pretend" emergency pops up and she has to take care of the "pretend" emergency. By the end of the day all she has done is deal with "pretend" emergencies.

Here is the really bizarre thing. The more Tessa "pretends" how busy she is and what she has to do the less prodcutive Tessa is. Yet Tessa does not recognize this. Likewise the less Tessa gets done the more down she is on herself. And this feeling is better to sit with than the ones she is running away from.

What a crazy way to live, but we all have been there. The problem is not that we have all been there but only if we stay there like Tessa.

So how do we get out of this whirlpool?

First off realize that volunteering to do too much will not make you important or respected. It won't. It will just piss people off if you do not follow through.

Second recognize what you really need to do and what can wait.

Third do not get distracted by "pretend" emergencies. Stick to what you decied to get done. Then do it.

Lastly stop running away from those problems that are giving you stress and sorrow. You may not be able to solve them but you must acknowledge them. If you don't you will be like Tessa. You will be running around in a circle disappointing yourself and those around you.

Next you will get angry and feel unappreciated. Next you will either get pissy or depressed. All because you "pretended" to be too busy.

Gte back into your life. You can't run away from it. It follows you wherever you go.

If you must feel important then feel important becasue you accomplished something. Not beause you volunteered for everything and then did nothing.

If you are another Tessa get help now. Here is how.

Marcia, Your Confidence Coach

Dream Job Don't Get Scammed

Work at home and do not get scammed. That is it. Get the report and you will avoid the traps and pitfalls of the scammers.

Look before you leap. Then leap.

Marcia, Your Confidence Coach

Whats Up?

It is spring. Summer is quickly approaching. What season are you in with your life. Where are you at? What's going on? What's up?

I like to do polling and see the mental states of people. The pulse I am getting is that some of you are perfectly happy with where you are in life. You are feeling good and pleased with your life. I am happy to hear that.

Unfortunately most of you are just getting by. You are apathetic. You would like some change but you just can not get around to it.

You lack motivation. You lack desire. You are treading water. You are putting in effort to stay where you are even though you are disappointend with where you are.

If you think about this you will realize it makes no sense. By treading water and putting in effort you are wasting time and energy.

The time and energy you put into staying where you are can be used to go somewhere else. What is that about?

You are motivated to stay where you are. You desire to stay where you are. You are disappointed with where you are.

What's up with that?

Isn't it time you stopped this charade? Isn't it time for you to make a change? Isn't it time for you to get your act in gear?

If you are depressed then get a handle on it now.

If you are procrastinating then learn how to stop.

If you need to get your head on straight get going.

You can do it.

Marcia, Your Confidence Coach

Humor can Expand Your Mind

Q & A. I found this humorous and thought provoking post. It asks a question and then collects answers. The answers vary depending on who answered and their point of view.

There is no right or wrong answer. This is a question of opinion. Opinion is just someones point of view. There may be facts and reason to back up the point of view. However, there may be other points of view with other facts and reason. It is up to you to decide or not which point of view makes sense to you. Perhaps most have some value to you. Perhaps you are not seeking an answer but a way to open your mind to think in a different way. Perhaps humour and satire will help you do this.

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD???

Plato: For the greater good.

Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.

Machiavelli:
The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

Hippocrates: Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its
pancreas.

Thomas de Torquemada: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.

Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment
would let it take.

Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road
gazes also across you.

Oliver North: National Security was at stake.

B.F. Skinner: Because the external influences which had pervaded its
sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a
fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while
believing these actions to be of its own free will.

Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt
necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at
this historical juncture, and therefore
synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.

Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself,
the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.

Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed
the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

Aristotle: To actualize its potential.

Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-
nature.

Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing
events to grace the annals of history. An historic,
unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt
such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to
homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurrence.

Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from
the trees.

Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.

Epicurus: For fun.

Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.

Johann von Goethe: The eternal hen-principle made it do it.

Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken
was on, but it was moving very fast.

David Hume: Out of custom and habit.

Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored)
reason.

Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?

The Sphinx: You tell me.

Henry David Thoreau: To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow
out of life.

Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.

Wordsworth: To wander lonely as a cloud.

Keats: Philosophy will clip a chicken's wings.

Blake: To see heaven in a wild fowl.

Othello: Jealousy.

Dr Johnson: Sir, had you known the Chicken for as long as I have,
you would not so readily enquire, but feel rather the
Need to resist such a public Display of your own
lamentable and incorrigible Ignorance.

Oscar Wilde: Why, indeed? One's social engagements whilst in
town ought never expose one to such barbarous
inconvenience - although, perhaps, if one must cross a
road, one may do far worse than to cross it as the
chicken in question.

Kafka: Hardly the most urgent enquiry to make of a low-grade
insurance clerk who woke up that morning as a hen.

Swift: It is, of course, inevitable that such a loathsome,
filth-ridden and degraded creature as Man should assume
to question the actions of one in all respects his
superior.

Darwin:
Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross roads


Dr. Seuss:
Did the chicken cross the road?Did he cross it with a toad?Yes the chicken crossed the road,but why it crossed, I've not been told!

FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES: Our soon-to-be-released Chicken '98 will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.

Groucho Marx:
Chicken? What's all this talk about chicken? Why, I had an uncle who thought he was a chicken. My aunt almost divorced him, but we needed the eggs.

***********************************************************************

Open up your mind. Deep thinking can do that but so can levity. Take a break today to laugh and smile.

Marcia. Your Confidence Coach

Monday Must Have

It is Monday again. Fresh start, new week.

Are you willing to make a fresh start or are you dragging your feet? Did you have a week end where you got things done but it is never enough? There is so much more left to do.

If you examine this you will find out that you are probably expecting to do too much. Some things are probably not that important. Some things could be done easier and more efficiently. Some things could be delegated. Some things could be outsourced.

Of course that is up to you to take a look from a fresh perspective. If you are refusing to look from a fresh perspective you are probably one of those type of people that think you must do everything by yourself. Only you can and know how to do everything.

You think everything is important. You have not found efficiency. You refuse to delegate because it is not done "your way" or to your standards. Outsourcing is costly and you do not trust that anyway.

So here you are a person on the verge. Tired, stressed out, over worked, over loaded. Monday is not your fresh start. It is more drudgery.

Is this the life you want to lead?

I have one suggestion.

If you are an online marketer then this product will save you time. It will help with your efficiency. It is not expensive. It is an investment in you having a better life. It is an investment in getting rid of stress. It is an investment in cutting down work overload.

Since you are one of those obstinate people I am ordering you to purchase it. If I don't order you I know you will make up excuses not to get it. I use the word"make up" because that is what you do when you get the chance to ease your life. You make up excuses why you are the only one that must and can do everything yourself.

Yet you know this is not true. You can not do everything yourself. Look at how you feel today. Look at your backlog of things you did not do. Will you ever get them done? No!

Break the mold. Drop it. Stop it.

Get this product and put some ease into your life. Get off the "only I can do everything" merry go round. Make Monday a fresh start. Enjoy yourself. Enjoy your life.

Marcia, Your Confidence Coach

PS This is your MONDAY MUST HAVE.

Confidence 101

I found this great site about confidence.



CONFIDENCE 101

Enjoy the week end.

Marcia, Your Confidence Coach

Internet Marketing Mania Continues

I am still reminding you about Internet Marketing Mania. The package will not go away. Anyone that wants it can get it. There is no countdown and no the price will not be increased.
Why? Because the maniac just wants to share this wonderful package with you. The maniac wants to make some money and the maniac wants you to be successful and make some money too.

Of course the maniac does not know you but the maniac appreciates something of value and the maniac is sure you do too. The maniac also appreciates a low purchase price for something worthwhile and is sure you do too.

Did you look at what you get? Please don't tell me you did not look at the package. Shame on you. How do you know you don't need it? Unless you are one of those playing at being an internet marketer. Then you are right. You don't need it.

But if you are not one of those then go check it out. Every day you wait you waste time doing things the hard way. Everyday you wait you loose time. Everyday you wait you have to work harder.

Time is of the essencce. GET MARKETING.

Marcia, Your Confidence Coach

Internet Marketing Mania

Yesterday I gave you the heads up on Internet Marketing Mania and the "maniac."

Today I am going to drill you. Why? Because if you did not get this product I must show you the error of your ways? Why? because I want to save you from yourself. Why? Because I want to help you make it and make it big.

What if I told you that you could spend less time on the technical, dull, irritating activities you must do for your internet marketing business? What if I told you that you could use this new found time on more important things in your business or personal life?

Would you argue with me and say, "No, Marcia. I want to waste my time doing things the long hard way. I don't want to do things the easy, time saving way."

Would you argue with me and say, "No, Marcia. I do not want to spend my time on important business and personal things. No, Marcia. I do not want to spend more time with my family. No, Marcia. I do not want to spend more time with my honey. No, Marcia. I do no want to spend more time doing what I enjoy."

Would you argue with me and say, "No Marcia. I am successful but I do not want the time to enjoy my accomplishments?"

Of course not. You would run and get Internet Marketing Mania. CLICK HERE.

I knew you were smart. I just knew you needed to be enlightened. Now you are. So get on the ball. Make your life easier.

"He who hesitates is lost" Do you want to be lost?

Marcia, Your Confidence Coach

Internet Marketing Maniac on the Loose

I have something great, wonderful, exciting to share with you only if you are serious about Internet marketing.

It does not matter what stage your are in with you Internet marketing business. What matters is that you are sincere and serious.

The Internet Marketing Maniac (I know it is a crazy name) has put together a software package that every serious Internet marketer needs and must have. Needs and must have if you want to make your business simpler and easier and more successful.

This is a package of NINE pieces of software. The rule in advertising is not to tell the price. When you are marketing you should not tell the price. Okay I have said that twice....... And I am going to tell you the price.

Why am I breaking the marketing rules? Because the price is ridiculous inexpensive. I'd be a fool to not tell you the price.

Drum roll..................$97.00 for TEN pieces of excellent, state of the art, must have software. That is $9.70 per piece of software. Internet Marketing Mania is brought to you by the Internet Marketing Maniac. He must be a maniac to price this product so low.

He is probably chastising himself right now for such a low price but too bad for him. You will buy it and have it and use it and he can't take it back. It is yours for this super, crazy, low price.

Get it now before The Internet Marketing Maniac gets sane and raises the price.

Marcia, Your Confidence Coach

Join the Movement

JOIN THE MOVEMENT

Marcia, Your Confidence Coach

Confidentially Speaking

CONFIDENCE. That is a big word with an even bigger meaning. It has 3 syllables. CON FI DENCE.

So what does it mean? So what is it? We all want it. We all admire it. We all lack it at times. We all get annoyed at people with too much of it. We all feel better when we have it.

Confidence is personal. Confidence is not permanent. Confidence is not tangible. Confidence is a matter of opinion.

People I think have Confidence

someone that has a deep spiritual belief

someone that gets things done

someone that can step outside of themselves

someone that can admit they made a mistake

someone that takes responsibility for their behavior

someone that i can learn from

someone that does not complain

someone that can overcome disappointments

someone i want to be around

someone that can support me at times

someone that does not brag

someone that tells the truth

someone that can inspire me

someone that is authentic

someone that is real

someone with a sense of humor

There are probably more "someone with" but for the time being I think this is enough to get you thinking. Is there someone I know that is like this 24/7. No, of course not. Is there someone like this that strives to be like this? Yes. Is there someone that is more like this than less like this? Yes.

When I am around people that are confident I feel good. I feel good being around them because I know that they make every attempt to choose the words that come out of their mouths. They choose wisely because they know that what they say is a reflection of them, not the other person they are speaking of or with.

Once you realize that how you behave and what you say is solely a reflection of you and only you then you can start to develop confidence or find the confidence you already have.

Confidence needs to be cultivated. Confidence can be learned. Confidence can be developed. Browse here to find some help.

Marcia, Your Confidence Coach

Improve your Business

I have shared with you some awesome products that can give your business the self improvement it needs.

You know you want to pump up your business. You know it needs more help.

You need to spend money to make money. You do not need to spend huge sums of money but you do need to fund your business. Spending on education and learning how to make your business successful is vital.

The products I have shown you are cost effective and fairly inexpensive. They are an investment in yourself and your business.

Businesses fail due to poor decision making. A poor decision could be to not fund your business. A poor decision could be to not educate yourself about how to operate your business.

Business logic is funny. Sometimes you think you have a genius idea and it tanks. It tanked because genius ideas and business success do not always go hand in hand.

That is why purchasing a product that has been developed and tested is the better choice than a genius idea.

So check out the products and find the one that will help your business succeed.

Marcia, Your Confidence Coach

PS If you buy any product I have shared with you I want to give you a bonus. E mail me your receipt to arnold@selfimprovementtoolshop.com to get your bonus.

Product Launch Formula

What if you had one chance and limited income to launch a new product? Would you experiment or would you use a method that was tested and had a track record of results?

They key to being successful in business is to learn from other people's mistakes. The other key is to learn from other people's successes. Business can be tricky and tough but when you are introduced to no brainer you have to rejoice.

When someone shows you step by step how to get your product off the ground you can't say no...unless you already know this....or you are of the obstinate kind and like to make your own mistakes.

I know you are not of the obstinate kind because if you were you would have probably closed up shop by now. The obstinate ones don't succeed in business.

I know you are going to check out this product because you want to succeed. All you need is a method which this product will give you. So go ahead - be successful. Do it the right way. Do it the easy way. Do it the way it will work

http://www.productlaunchformula.com/?17935

Work smart not hard.

http://www.productlaunchformula.com/?17935

Marcia, Your Confidence Coach

What is Your Emotional Program?

FREE YOURSELF

Did you know that you have been programmed to think and act the way you do? Did you also know that you can re program the way you think and act?

How does this work?

Something happens - your boss yells at you

You have a reaction to this event - you believe your boss should not have yelled at you

Your reaction to this event is emotional - you feel angry

That is the chain of events that have been programmed into you. If you can re program yourself the possibilities are endless. For example:

Something happens - your boss yells at you

You are re programmed and you have a new reaction to this event - you wonder why your boss is in such a bad mood

You are re programmed and your reaction to this event is different - you are not angry at your boss. you want to find out why your boss yelled at you.

Think about how much happier and easier your day would be if you could re program your thoughts. Think about all the energy you waste getting lost in your emotions. Think about all the times your emotions have held you back. Think about all the experiences you missed out on due to your programming.

Think about all the times your emotions interfered with you doing what you wanted to do. Think about how badly you felt when you "acted out." Think about how badly your family felt when you "acted out." Think about all the times you had to say you were sorry because you hurt someone when you acted out.

What if you could put a stop to this? Would you be willing to end this misery? I know you want to live a better, happier, more joyous life. I know you want to be in control of how you behave. I know you want to be in control of what you say. I know you want to stop the pain.

I also know there are things you want to achieve. I know that your emotions and programming are holding you back. I know you can break free and re program your mind to have the life you deserve.

Here is the answer.

http://www.selfimprovementtoolshop.com/SubconsciousProgramming.html

Marcia, Your Confidence Coach

How do you Measure Success?

I bet when you were little your parents told you they wanted you to be successful. Perhaps your parents told you what they thought your success would look like.

I have a friend Jennifer. Her parents had her life picked out for her. Ever since she was little Jennifer's parents wanted her to be a doctor. Jennifer's parents had good reasons for this. They wanted Jennifer to be self supporting. They also thought medicine was a noble profession.

Jennifer was smart. She had the aptitude to be a doctor. When she was little she enjoyed the idea of being a doctor. However, as she got older the idea of being a doctor was losing it's appeal. Despite this nagging feeling Jennifer plugged on through college and medical school. She wanted to please her parents. She wanted her parents to be proud of her. She did not want to disappoint her parents. Jennifer wanted to be successful.

Jennifer worked as a doctor for a few years. But her heart was not in it. It was not what she wanted to do. It was not her idea of what being successful was.

At some point Jennifer stopped practicing medicine. She opened up her own business. Her idea of success was to educate people. She wanted to educate people so they could avoid visiting a doctor. She wanted to teach people about living a healthy life. This was her idea of success.

Before you embark on your long road to success take some time to think about what success means to you. Try to separate your ideas from the ideas of success you encounter every day. These ideas of success are everywhere. They are on TV, the news, in schools, almost any place you encounter. What about your friends, parents, counselors. They all have ideas about success and what it should be for you. It is okay to be open to what they have to say. They may spark an idea.

But you must make the final decision about what success means to you. Remember that is okay to change your mind about what success means to you. When you are young success can mean something different than when you are older. Your idea of success can be a living, evolving concept. You can pursue your idea of success and re work it if it is not what you expected. Whatever path you choose remember to respect yourself and your choices. Choose wisely but make the choice yours.

Marcia, Your Confidence Coach

Successful Thinking

What traits do successful people share? I have been researching this and here is the list I came up with.

Successful people have a dream
Successful people have a plan
Successful people have specific knowledge and training
Successful people are willing to put the time in
Successful people are persistent
Successful people have ambition
Successful people are motivated
Successful want to succeed
Successful people get things done
Successful people know how to focus
Successful people make decisions
Successful people look for solutions
Successful people take responsibility for their actions
Successful people make mistakes and move forward
Successful people know how to work with others
Successful people have a passion
Successful people put things in the proper perspective

This list is a lot to digest. There is also a lot to learn. I just found a free report that will show you how to instill these traits into your thinking. If you want to be successful and have confidence you need to have the tools. You need to think like a success.

Please check out this free report. It will change the way you think.


http://www.therockefellerfiles.com/?download=457

Marcia, Your Confidence Coach